It’s taken me about 10 tries to try and write something up about this because I don’t really know where to start. This won’t necessarily be a “blog post” either. This is me reaching out and addressing my anxiety and depression. I hope that it can be helpful for some of you and give you hope for yourselves.
2018 has been a whirlwind year for me. My health has been a major issue -mental and physical. I’ve had so many doctor visits, tests done, and medication switches that I don’t remember who I really am anymore. I recently had something happen in my life that really made me realize that I need help. I’ve been struggling with my mental health for a long time and let it take over a lot of areas in my life. I decided to go back to therapy and try antidepressants again. I used to be really against medication but because of everything going on and my hormones being imbalanced, I know that this is the best option for me right now.
It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Right now it feels like I’m 50 feet below dirt and drowning in water at the same time. It’s hard to focus on a future when I can’t focus on what’s happening in my current day. I try to stay positive as much as I can but I’m not in a place where I can do it by myself and feel okay about it. Not yet, anyway.
2019 I’m trying to stay hopeful for myself. I’m taking steps to take care of myself and to put my needs in front of others. I’ve always struggled with that and I think that’s why I’m now in the position that I’m in.
For anyone that is also struggling with mental health, you are NOT alone. Make yourself heard. Talk about your anxiety and depression with your friends, family, and peers. I was never comfortable with it until recently. I’ve found that it actually helps a lot when people are aware of your triggers and symptoms. Everyone handles their anxiety differently and one thing may work for one person but not the other. Help them understand what you need and help educate them about mental health.
I’ve provided some numbers if you need to reach out to someone. I’ve called the Suicide Prevention Line before and there’s no shame in it. They are there to help YOU. YOU are the priority. Never forget that, even when it seems like you’re the last person in the world that deserves anything.
I love each and every one of you and wish you all a positive new year.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Call Center: 1-800-273-8255
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)